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Where were the Advance Men?

2006-02-09T06:20:00.000-05:00

The spectacle of our glorious leader being subjected to verbal humiliations at an event like the King funeral is shocking. Hey, you liberals--he didn't need to attend! After all, Coretta King was just MLK's wife. Not like that's important or anything. Not like she marched in Selma or anything like that. Besides--MLK was just a troublemaker and ingrate, the kind of guy who might criticize someone like Kennedy or Johnson for not doing enough for negroes, or even for waging war in Indochina. Civil Rights would have advanced so much quicker if King hadn't got involved, and we would have left reform to guys like Strom Thurmond and Trent Lott. Strom even had a black kid, for goodness sakes!

The main point here that someone on the president's staff completely dropped the ball. Our glorious leader normally appears before hand-picked crowds, complete with pre-selected questions for him. That's the kind of event we should have had here. Where are all our polite black Republicans? The GOP, after all, is the mainstream American political party, filled with respect and appreciation for everyone. Where was Condi Rice?--I saw her at the Super Bowl. Someone should have given this Lowery guy a script, made him follow it, or told him not to attend. After all, they should feel grateful and lucky that Bush came. It's not like these colored folks voted for him or something.

I think the response from the Red State community collected here says it all: http://digbysblog.blogspot.com/

One with the Troops

2006-01-07T09:29:00.000-05:00

It's great to see our commander-in-chief shares the same fearless bravery that our wounded and injured soldiers have displayed. They've fought insurgents; he's fought scrub brush. Moral equivalents, certainly.

http://www.crooksandliars.com/2006/01/06.html#a6601

Because We're the USA--That's Why.

2005-12-10T05:12:00.000-05:00

Reports out of Germany have the chancellor of that country, Andrea Merkel, insulting our secretary of state, Condelleza Rice. Merkel asserted that our seizure and detention without charge of a German citizen was somehow a "mistake." Apparently, Ms. Merkel even suggested that Dr. Rice had admitted it was a mistake.

This is an outrage. Anything the United States does--to anyone, in any country--is by definition warrented and appropriate. To suggest otherwise is to insult our long history of sound judgment and government by law. It's not like we've set up secret prisions, or held people for five years without charge, or tortured people (if we did, there'd be photos!). But to compound that by suggesting that our secretary of state (and maybe, just maybe, the next president), is a shameless politico hack who talks out of both sides of her mouth... well, the outrage is just too great.

Our republic has been impugned.

Leaving the Rich Alone

2005-11-30T07:08:00.000-05:00

Can rich people catch a break? Here we have the spectacle of a war profiteer throwing a birthday bash for his sweet daughter--employing some of the most famous names in rock to do it--and suddenly the liberals are up in arms.

We say let the rich be. If the government doesn't catch you manufacturing a defective product until a few soldiers die, well, buyer beware. It's David Brook's money (via the taxpayers and the Pentagon). So he can blow it buying a few washed-up rock stars (and a drunk rapper) to serenade his daughter. Everyone, after all, buys defective product now and then.

A Good Boy Becomes President

2005-11-21T23:02:00.000-05:00

Much has been made of this video clip on the liberal blogs. They are chortling watching our president unable to open a locked door. Some of them are even making specious analogies about exit strategies in Iraq.

Well, this video should make all supporters of RSA proud. A locked door could happen to anyone. But how our president responds is special. He doesn't look over and ask someone for help. That would be rude. Instead, he parks himself in the corner like a good boy, and waits until someone directs him. Confused and waiting for direction.

Not like that's an analogy for anything.

A Bender Now and Then

2005-11-09T09:38:00.000-05:00

At RSA, we've had enough of smirking liberals discussing the president's penchant for tying one on now and then. Everyone knows a bender takes the edge off. The president, after all, has a lot of stress. Really, a lot. It's hard work being president. So I say the man deserves a drink or two. Or three. Or five. Or eight.

Listen, these damn northern teetotalers don't understand the value of a six-pack, seven-ounce, Texas Saturday night. They have absolutely no sense of fun. So the White House keeps having to invent these lame excuses (like the pretzel incident) to explain the results of Bush getting his freak on.

We say enough. There's nothing wrong with the hair of the dog that bit ya at breakfast. Or a three martini lunch. Or a six-pack or two with dinner. You need something to relax you when you have to make all these hard decisions--especially when some of your best buddies are lookin' to do a stretch upstate at any moment.

Cut the guy a break. He's drunk, and we're better off for it.

Torture for a Good Cause

2005-11-07T22:48:00.000-05:00

We all know that torture is terrible. I mean really terrible. Bad.

Of course the bad guys do it. But sometimes the good guys have to do it, too. I know this because I saw the Dirty Harry movies.

So we probably have to torture those guys in Guantanamo, because they are bad guys and would torture us. But the thing is, that we are Americans and because we are really good at things, I'm sure we've mastered torture. So it probably isn't so torturous. Why else would the Vice President want to keep a loophole in the new torture law congress is proposing? He knows we've got this down, and being a good American, knows we'd lose our touch if we couldn't practice it.

And because we've refined and developed torture to such an art, we might want to think about extending it to places where we haven't tortured so far. Just so long as it is in a good cause.

You can't be too safe, and since we can't have a safe government with a bunch of irresponsible people leaking state secrets to irresponsible reporters, I'm sure Vice President Cheney, in addition to supporting the torture of those wicked, uncharged men in Guantanamo, would second this request to have the government torture C. Lewis (Scooter) Libby so we can find out who told him about that CIA agent gal.

Seems like torture in good cause to me.

Blame the Little Guy!

2005-10-25T06:43:00.000-04:00

Interesting report here from the NY Daily News. It seems as though some low-level staffers at the White House are complaining about President Bush being angry at them.

Well, President Bush should be angry with them. They don't take responsibility for their decisions. They reward incompetence. They surround themselves with toadies. They blame others for their faults.

Hardly the stuff of leadership. Doesn't fit the presidency.

It's the sort of thing you expect from, say, a failed general manager of a major league ballclub.

But not of the president.

Not Global Warming, and even if it were...

2005-10-20T07:40:00.000-04:00

I was on Jet Blue from Seattle to New York, bouncing over the remains of Katrina, and watching Fox News on the airscreen. The water in New Orleans was not yet three feet high and rising and Fox made sure to haul on a talking head to reassure us that Katrina had nothing to do with global warming. The liberals are all over this: they think that global warming will somehow result in catastrophe, rather than opening up the Artic to sunbathing--24 hours of it, in the summertime.

Well, we need to repeat, with our mighty credentialed Fox experts, that global warming is no big deal, and certainly not responsible for the amazing rise in devastating hurricanes this season.

Well, okay, maybe it has something to do with it, but if global warming is happening--and I'm not saying it is--it is a purely natural phenomenon, unconnected to pollution or other human activity.

Well, okay, maybe human activity might be responsible for global warming, but even if it is, there’s not much we can do about it, short of completely wrecking our economy.

Well, okay, maybe we could address global warming without wrecking the economy, but even if we could, there’s no reason to start panicking and passing a bunch of communist edits like the Kyoto protocols, or CAFÉ standards or limiting drilling in Alaska.

These liberals remind me of the liberals of the early sixties who said that smoking causes cancer. Or those liberals from the seventies that insisted that airbags in cars would save lives. Thankfully, industry spokesmen and other credentialed experts held the line against them, and we are the better for it. Hopefully, with the help of the Bush/Cheney administration, energy industry experts can offset all this hysterical demand for wind, solar and other forms of “alternative” (ie, GAY) energy. Because a few hurricanes now and then just freshen the air. And the beaches of Greenland await their Club Med.

Black People are Smarter than White People

2005-10-18T05:18:00.000-04:00

With this simple test, scientists prove what many of us have suspected all along: black people are smarter than white people.

Interrupting the President's Vacation

2005-09-06T21:04:00.000-04:00

By now we are all aware that the tentacles of liberalism run much deeper than we had heretofore suspected. Case in point: Hurricane Katrina, and the liberal smear she has made to the president's sterling reputation as a leader. The liberals timed this one just right. They interrupted the president right in the middle of his summer vacation (actually in his vacation-within-a-vacation to Idaho).

We all know the president is a hard-working man. He has told us so many times, especially during the debates of 2004 ("It's hard work"). A man who works so hard needs his rest, and our president was resting up, and then some damn liberals asked God to send this hurricane to the Gulf Coast to disrupt his rest.

Well, not for nothing is this man known for his character. As the hurricane smashed ashore, proving the most dire predictions of the forecasters, Bush held his course, and headed straight to San Diego for a GOP fundraiser and some relaxing guitar strumming. And then, just to prove he couldn't be rushed, the man took another day at his ranch in Texas (this was Tuesday, when the levees broke), and then, just to insure no one thought him unresponsive, he had the pilots tip the wings of Airforce One as he passed over the ruins on the way to Washington.

That's composure, folks. An unhurried and well-rested approach to problem-solving. He continues this week to prove his even-tempered outlook this week, diligently working through the details of the calamity without all the alarmism seizing others aghast at the slowing rising death toll. This is a well-rested, unperturbable president. A man of real character.

A Glorious Tool!

2005-07-07T07:04:00.000-04:00

All readers of RSA should applaud the courage of NYT correspondent Judy Miller. First she acted as magnificent conduit for the administration in the run-up to the Iraq war. Now she's earning her stripes by going to prison to protect Karl Rove and the administration for exposing Victoria Plame. Rarely is such civic-mindedness evident in one person. Miller, along with Jeff Gannon, is a true revolutionary, redefining journalism for our age. Obviously she is an instrument of God. Rarely has the world known such a glorious tool.

http://www.washingtonpost.com/wp-dyn/content/article/2005/07/06/AR2005070600283.html

Credit where Credit is Due

2005-06-30T08:17:00.000-04:00

Partisans of Ideological Certitude need to start a blogging campaign to get the liberal media to acknowledge the foreign policy accomplishments of the Bush administration. Case in point is the election of hard liners in Iran. Remember that after Qadaffi agreed to cooperate with the West and disarm, the liberal media failed to acknowledge the role in his switch played by Bush's astonishingly brillant campaign to smear democracy in Iraq. But Bush was constant in pointing out that the Iraq occupation was connected to the events in Libya.

The same thing is happening now. The liberal media fail to note the connection between Bush's occupation of Iraq and the election of hardliners in Iran. And, for some reason, the Bush administration has failed to note it as well. But we bloggers should get busy and grant credit where credit is due.

http://alternet.org/columnists/story/23222/

A Foolish Consistency

2005-06-28T05:37:00.000-04:00

Much is being made of the fact that recently Vice President Cheney said the insurgency in Iraq was in its death throes, while Secretary of Defense Rumsfeld said that the insurgency could last as long as 12 years. (http://www.davidcorn.com/2005/06/no_reason_for_n.php). Don't people understand that something could die over 12 years?--It probably takes that long for an elephant to die. What exactly is a throe, anyway?

Repeat after me: our glorious leaders are correct when they say the war is ending; they are correct when they say it is just beginning. They are correct when they say "Mission Accomplished"; they are correct when they ask for more money. They are always right. I mean, they couldn't be our leaders if they weren't right, right?

History is Rove!

2005-06-24T00:20:00.000-04:00

Karl Rove, whose high-minded quest to accumulate power to those ennobled by birth knows no bounds, said something the other day that should galvanize all who read this blog. In a speech to a conservative group, he said, "Conservatives saw the savagery of 9/11 in the attacks and prepared for war; liberals saw the savagery of the 9/11 attacks and wanted to prepare indictments and offer therapy and understanding for our attackers."

Unfortunately, the Democrats (liberals!) actually passed a resolution on Sept 14, 2001 granting the president "all necessary and appropriate force against those nations, organizations, or persons he determines planned, authorized, committed, or aided the terrorist attacks that occurred on Sept. 11, 2001, or harbored such organizations or persons, in order to prevent any future acts of international terrorism against the United States by such nations, organizations or persons." The resolution passed the House 420-1 and the Senate 98-0.

For partisans of ideological certitude, this creates two problems. The first is the presence of this vote in the historical record; the second, the fact that our supremely competent leader has yet to capture that irrepressible scalawag Bin Laden. So we here at RSA are calling ideologues of good will to action: First, get out there and secure all the newspapers, television footage, and post-it notes from the time and excise this inconvenient fact from the record. We can't have it. We know the positive momentum and good fortune of the country depends on happy thoughts and memories. Facts like this detract from our ability to focus on the source of our malaise, those odious trolls from the netherworld, the liberals. They can't have acted with faith courage or patriotism after 911, and if the facts say otherwise, we must change the facts. Second, we have to forget about Osama Bin Laden. Yes, we can put a man on the moon, but we can't get him. Some things are just hard work. So as of today, we all need to tell our wives and husbands, friends and neighbors that he is already caught.

Okay, well, if not already caught, not worth capturing.

Okay, well, if worth capturing, too hard to catch.

Okay, if not too hard to catch, not that important.

Okay, if important, impossible to catch because the liberals are keeping us from catching him.
Yeah, that's it. It's the fault of liberals.

http://msnbc.msn.com/id/8324598/

A 21st Century Sensitivity

2005-06-18T09:08:00.000-04:00

Partisans of iron-will ideological certitude must back Jon Alvarez against the tissue-wimp nabobs of the U.S. Army. Get out there, guys. Report this suspicious activity to the world: the Army is attempting to stifle one patriot's effort to advance our glorious hate. It's no wonder they lose so many wars.

http://rawstory.com/news/2005/Recuits_website_Make_a_papermache_pig_with__0617.html